सोमवार, 16 जून 2014

क्यों स्त्रियों के लिए अलग क्यू हो? और बस में अलग सीटें भी ?

दो तीन दिन पहले , फेसबुक पर एक मित्र अनमोल जी से यह चर्चा हुई।  अपनी बातें यहां सहेज रही हूँ।


उन्होंने कहा था :
जब हर मामले में कहा जाता है कि पुरुषों और महिलाओं में कोई अंतर नहीं होता, फिर बसों और ट्रेनों में पुरुषों से यह आशा क्यों की जाती है कि वह किसी महिला को देखकर सीट खाली कर दें और स्वयं खड़े हो जाएँ? महिलाओं को यह समानता उस समय नजर क्यूँ नहीं आती? इस नाते तो महिलाओं के आत्मसम्मान को तो उस समय ठेस पहुंचनी चाहिए जब कोई पुरुष उसे कमजोर, अबला नारी समझकर उसे बैठने देता है और स्वयं को शक्तिशाली और सहनशील मानकर खड़ा हो जाता है! क्या महिलाओं में इतनी भी सहनशीलता नहीं होती कि वह कुछ देर खड़ी रह कर अपने समानता के अधिकार की लड़ाई को वहाँ भी जारी रख सकें?

मेरी टिप्पणियाँ :
१. would you like to really discuss this till either you or me are convinced ?

२. i USED to ask the same question when i was your age. point is - there are various levels of comparison between individuals in public approach regarding EQUALITY or INEQUALITY.

- one is their physical tolerance - which is different from physical strength, and another is the mental ability and their emotional ability. now - UNDOUBTEDLY women have less muscular ability than men - biologically we are different in that we have different normal body heifghts, weights, weight bearing capacities, different "NORMAL" rbc counts etc

३. it is an established fact that though the TOLERANCE of physical pain is better in women (of necessity since they have to undergo labor pain to give birth) - but PHYSICALLY their muscular strength is low . 

when they stand for long hours they get more sapped than their male counterparts.  SOCIALLY speaking - i always used to say - why should women stand in shorter queues than men to fill the electricity bill etc. later i understood.

the women's queue is shorter precisely BECAUSE less number of women come out to do these jobs - so effectively we are saying - the women who DO have to come out and queue up should be punished by standing in common queues because WHY have they come to do the MAN's job at all - why aren't they at home cooking and feeding kids.

४. NOW - i have stood in common queues too - and anmol ji - please note that though i am 46 now - i am still touched and groped at and commented at - our society still has the dirty-ness of mind to ebhave like vultures if they see a piece of meat available  -------- and to many many men - a woman standing in a common queue is nothing but a piece of meat to be relished. she has done the mistake of coming out of her home and has made herself "available" to their will .  i know - you will say - YOU don't think and behave like that - but to the woman being wrongly and purposely touched by such mentality men - there is no relief from the nausea we feel in the fact that - EDUCATED indians are not like that. as per reuter's reports - we are the THIRD OR FOURTH WORST nation in the universe in the way we treat our women - we are behind just 2-3 others. so i don't think we can claim maturity enough to force our women to stand in common queues with mentally sick perverts to be probed and groped at just to PROVE that men and women are equal. same apples to sitting in common seats in buses too - and everywhere else. 

५.  - may be not always and not by everyone - does that reduce the fact ? is it ok to be pinched and groped at thrice or four times a week and be spared on the remaining days because they happened to be in queue on the remaining days with the exceptions ? 

is it ok - i mean - is it negligible and should eb allowed to happen - just to prove that we are equal - and that OTHER MEN are better thatn these ?

६.  now - you tell me - who cooks in your home ? your friends' homes? your neighbours homes? 

ok - some of them are full time homemakers - so no problem - there is division of labor - the man going out and working to earn - and the woamn taking care of the domestic needs. Now let us discuss about the work handled by the women who are actually working outside - because they are the ones being questioned on commonality of seats and queues

७.  i am a woman. i work at home and outside too. 50 % of my colleagues are men and 50% women. ALL THE MEN carry tiffin boxes made by their WIVES (though quite a few of the wives are also working outside) and ALL the women pack and parcel boxes for themselves and their husband's / kids before coming to college.  Then that implies they have to get up at about 5.30 or 6 and start cooking - while the hubby can sleep till about seven to leave at the same time for office. similarly they ahve to cook in the evening, they have to clean the home, teach the kids etc. all this requires energy.

while a MAN who has STOOD in a bus for lack of availability of seats has the CHOICE to go home and rest for an hour to come out of the exhaustion, the WOMAN who has ALSO stood in the bus for the same duration has no such choice. if she reaches home at say 5.30 and rests till 6.30 - her whole evening routine of work will be fast forwarded by an hour - and that means sleeping an hour late. BUT it does not translate to GETTING up an hour late - so she loses the sleep froever  

and the above assumed that they are both EQUALLY TIRED by standing for the same duration in the bus - while in actual fact - the WOMAN will be MORE physically exhausted by the journey as she is physically less strong than the male.

so basically - we are saying - if you have to work outside and travel - IT IS YOUR PERSONAL CHOICE _ AND YOU SHOULD Bear the consequences - BUT WE won'T give any extra facilities to you like seats in buses - BECAUSE YOU ASKED FOR EQUALITY AND YOU GOT IT.

८. NOW - many will say that IF the woman is working - then she MUST SEE TO IT that the husband shares the work load at home. this argument is just like saying that a girl who got raped should have seen to it that she wasn't raped by n number of methods. IT IS NOT THE WOMAN who has to change this - it is also made her responsibility; because AFTER ALL _ SHE decided to work outside. that's what i said - we are not yet a matured enough society to demand this kind of things FROM women in the name of equality. first they used to be at home. then it was justified that they should manage this side of work. but now they are under double burden. we have no right to demand these things yet.

once we truly have real equal division of workload - both in office and at home - then we can justify these demands of RETURN EQUALITY. but right now we are not

९.  @@ ये भी बात ठीक है कि यह सब पुरुषों का काम है। मगर चूंकि महिला इस काम को करने आई हैं इसलिए उनका काम जल्दी करवाकर उन्हें घर जाने देना चाहिए।

no . there are no male and female jobs. if the woman takes the same salary, she needs to work the same hours. It is at home and in society that equality is missing - which needs to be corrected before demanding that women stand in buses  .

१०.  @@ मगर दूसरी परिस्थितियों में? बल्कि आपकी बताई परिस्थिति वाली महिलायें भारत में बहुत ही कम होंगी।

the ones in buses are 90% from the group i am referring to - they are in a bus BECAUSE they are working outside - no body goes into transport just for th
e feeling of sitting in a bus. i am not talking of travelling for visiting relatives or markets - i am talking of the women and the men who travel regularly. not once in a blue moon travellers.

११.  ALMOST ALL jobs allow maternity benefits - and out time for feeding mothers, so that is not really the topic i am talking about. i am talking of the regular normal travellers, not special circumstances. see - this is a really long discussion. that is why i asked you in the beginning if you really wanted to discuss this

१२.  when i was your age - i had NO JOBS TO DO AT HOME - i thought the same as you - WHY SHOULD WOMEN BE GIVEN PREFERENTIAL SEATS WHILE MEN SHOULD STAND. equality should be both ways. but now i realize - we are NOT equal yet. demanding this is like pronouncing a sentence -"you dare to ask us for equality - we will show you what you get". 

१३. @@ cfinancially  independent 
 vahi to - that is the division of work roles traditionally expected. but that is also not correct. when she does not earn, it was ok in the past with the different set of societal norms - but now we have a different set of requirements where financial independence for women is a must too (though at present - most working women have their salaries managed by their husband - so they are not really financially independent either)

१४. @@ एक तो यहाँ पर जितनी बातें की जा रही हैं किसी विशेष परिस्थिति को ध्यान में रखकर की जा रही हैं। बस वाली महिला काम पर से घर आ रही है या घूमने, बाजार जाने के लिए बस से जा रही है। पति पत्नी दोनों धन कमाते हैं या केवल पति ही कमाता है।

 statistics collect kijiye. you can conduct a survey in buses for ten days with about 10 buses per day AT OFFICE HOURS - how many women were travelling, how many for shopping etc and how many for office ... because non working hours there is no issue as the crowd is not so high that either have to give seats to the other 


१६. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Indian-men-spend-a-mere-19-minutes-a-day-on-housework/articleshow/31636967.cms

१७. https://www.bu.edu/wcp/Papers/Huma/HumaSing.htm

१८. As per Census 2011, the final population of India is 1210.57 million (excluding the 
estimated population of 3 sub-divisions of Senapati district of Manipur) comprising 
587.45 million (48.5%) females and 623.12 million (51.5%) males. 


The sex ratio (number of females per 1000 males) at the national level is 943. 
Rural sex ratio is 949 and the urban is 929. - this is where we discuss equality - we are killing that many girls bcause otherwise we would have had equal or almost equal ratios . http://mospi.nic.in/Mospi_New/upload/women_men_india_2013_part1.pdf

१९. @@ एक बात। मैंने अपने इस स्टेटस में समानता की बात अपने आप से नहीं उठाई थी। मेरा आशय था कि महिलाएं जब हर क्षेत्र में कहती हैं कि हम भी यह सब कर सकते हैं, हम किसी से कम नही हैं। हम भी पुरुषों के साथ कंधे से कन्धा मिलाकर चल सकते हैं। फिर बसों ट्रेनों में वह ऐसा क्यूँ नहीं कहतीं? वहाँ पर उनकी इक्वलिटी कहाँ चली जाती है? मेरे स्टेटस का आशय यह था।

vahi baat to kah rahi hoon main  it is like - you dare to ask for equality - we will show you what you will get. FIRST bring equality in the positive direction, then talk of teh other direction, right now we are far far far far away from equality. we are killing our daughters in the womb , for dowry, raping them, beating them , throwing acid at tehm .... let us first become homan and treat them as human, and tehn let us talk of reciprocal equality to be expected in the reverse direction

२०.  remember anmol ji - we have 48.5% women and 51.5 % men. it does NOT sound alarming at all because it is in percentage. 

NOW digest this - As per Census 2011, the final population of India is 1210.57 million

i.e 586 million women and 623 million men

the difference (which looks negligible when read in percen tages) is a huge 623 - 586 = 37 million. WHER DID THE DIFFERNECE COME FROM ? by nature, almost equal male and female kids get concieved (actually more female to compensate the maternity deaths) - then where did the whopping difference of 37 million (3.7 crores) come from ???? simple - we killed them - either in the womb or outside. we SELECTIEVLY killed 37 million BECAUSE they were woman. so we really can not ask for reverse equality yet -- can we anmol ji ? 


२२.  http://ncertbooks.prashanthellina.com/class_7.../4.pdf - this is an ncert text book - with old statistics, now the sitiuation has worsened - but it will give you an idea 

२३.  i just hope you will really read the links and screenshots i have provided. then decide if we should ask for reverse equality yet ? 

२४. @@ It's Mentality issue! It cannot be changed until our old generation finished! As I think.

it is not a mentality issue - it is statistics from the minstry of statistics .... and teh old generation does not get finished all of a sudden - the mental brainwashing percolates from generation to generation. mothers think daughters and daughters in law should do the household jobs - and sons and son =in laws should not - the next generation gets mentally used to expect this and even idealize the double burden to the woman.

२५.  just remember - before asking for reverse equality - we have KILLED selectively 37 million of our people JUST BECAUSE they were females - are we ready to discuss reverse equality yet ?

२६. any other friends who were reading these discussions - please read the whole list of comments - and IF you were convinced - please tell me. BUT don't question my version without reading ALL my comments above.

4 टिप्‍पणियां:

  1. @@ vivek chauksey

    यहाँ आप जैसे स्व घोषित हिंदी सेवकों की कोई जज्मेंटल टिप्पणी नहीं छपेगी । तो बार बार मेरी पोस्ट को "बकवास" कहती हुई टिप्पणियाँ लिख लिख कर अपना और मेरा समय व्यर्थ न करें

    उत्तर देंहटाएं
    1. और आपको अंग्रेजी आती है या नहीं यह मेरा प्रॉब्लम नहीं है । आपको पढना हो तो पढ़ें यह ब्लॉग - और न पढना हो तो श्रेष्ठ हिंदी ब्लोग्स की कोई कमी नहीं है । अनुराग शर्मा जी, गिरिजेश राव जी , संजय अनेजा जी, वाणीगीत जी, मिश्र जी , शुक्ल जी, घुघूती जी , रचना जी, दिव्या जी, सुज्ञ जी अमित शर्मा जी .... एक इ एक लेखक हैं ब्लोगजगत में । वहां जाइये । मेरी बुराई करने में अपनी ऊर्जा नष्ट न कीजिये